


beth

by mjscorner



Series: peter parker's playlist (songfics) [3]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Loves Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker has PTSD, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Loves Peter Parker, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, peter parker has fomo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24402556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjscorner/pseuds/mjscorner
Summary: "I, uh...I have walls.""...Walls?'"Walls," Peter repeated, casting a quick glance out the window, longing for some sort of distraction or escape. He found none other than his rather childish tendency to pick at the end of his glove skittishly."There's...there's always, uh...a gap in my relationships because of the walls I have. Y'know, protections, barriers, that sort of thing...anyway, um," Peter's voice threatened to break, “everyone I love dies, so...I just put walls up. But then I met you. And my walls were kinda starting to come down.”“Mine too, kid.”
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: peter parker's playlist (songfics) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762084
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	beth

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is based on the lyrics of "beth" by kina grannis

After the battle had been won and the fight was over, Peter was nowhere to be found.

Tony remembered wasting several precious moments hugging Steve and watching teary-eyed reunions on the smoldering grounds of the compound and looking around desperately for his kid, only to be informed by Pepper that he had left. 

"Left? What do you mean?"

"He told me to tell you that he had to go and find his aunt. I'm sorry, Tony."

Tony had nodded slowly, unable to process the information. So, alright, cool, whatever. The kid had left the universe's most pivotal battle to go check up on his aunt. He had other family members. Tony could understand. As a matter of fact, he spared another thought Morgan's way, then Rhodey's, then Bruce's. 

That night, at the tower, Tony looked over the city from his penthouse with a blank stare. He had bought the building back the night following Steve, Natasha, and Scott's visit. He wanted it there for Peter. He wanted his kid to have somewhere nearby to fall back on. And Tony wanted to be closer to him.

But Peter wasn't here. And Tony felt alone again.

He didn't blink as he looked down toward Peter's neighborhood, the sounds of his fellow Avengers drinking behind him and being obnoxiously loud. He didn't blink as saw Rhodey approaching from behind through the reflection of the window, clapping a hand on his shoulder and smiling sadly at him. He didn't even blink when he heard Thor calling to him from the kitchen, asking if he wanted a drink. 

"Tony," Pepper began rubbing Tony's shoulders affectionately, placing a loving kiss on his cheek. "Rest. You're on top of the world."

Tony smiled at that, though it was almost invisible due to its failure to reach his eyes.

"He hasn't reached out," Tony croaked out, scoffing at just how pathetic he sounded. "He didn't even say goodbye."

"Tony, I'm sure he'll swing by here at some point. Don't overthink it, yeah?"

He didn't respond, clenching his jaw and reverting his stare back to the city.

Waiting.

After two hours of staring out into the city, his heart ceased to beat upon noticing a particular red and blue colored figure swinging his way through the bustle of the now-lively city below. Tony didn't know what to do, didn't know if he should move from his spot, or run down to the street below and meet him. He was too late to decide regardless. Peter was suddenly crawling up to the window Tony was staring out of, tilting his head as they were now face-to-face.

"What-?"

"Can I come in?" Peter lifted his hand and pulled his mask off, smiling fondly back at Tony. Tony found any past concern and frustration and sadness melting away into nothing as he frantically unlocked the window beside Peter, pulling him inside.

"Woah-"

Tony held the kid in his arms, resting his chin on the kid's shoulder and allowing his eyes to rest as he took in Peter's scent. Peter seemed to be frozen in confusion because he wasn't hugging him back. Why wasn't he hugging him back?

"Kid?"

Tony pulled out of the hug, taking Peter by the shoulders and frowning. That concern and frustration and sadness were seeping back into his heart. Peter avoided his eyes.

"Pete," Tony choked out, reaching a cautious hand forward and cupping Peter's face softly. A fraction of his mixed emotions melted away again as Peter leaned into the touch. "Kid, why did you run off like that?"

"Which time?" Peter asked, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. Tony couldn't find it in him to laugh back. Peter gulped, fumbling with his hands anxiously. He let his hands fall to his sides, his shoulders raised in tension as he finally made excruciating eye contact with Tony. "I, uh...I have walls."

"...Walls?'

"Walls," Peter repeated, casting a quick glance out the window, likely looking for some sort of distraction or escape. He found none. "There's...there's always, uh...a gap in my relationships because of the walls I have. Y'know, protections, barriers, that sort of thing...anyway, um," Peter's voice threatened to break, "every time I've ever crossed those barriers with someone, that someone ends up dead. My mom, my dad, my uncle...so, now, I have, like, crazy walls up. People don't really know who I am. And especially after Spider-Man, I was losing my identity, you know? You can understand that, right?"

Tony simply raised an eyebrow, bringing a hand to Peter's chin and frowning at him, a deep and immense concern lurking beneath his eyes.

"I'm not following here, kid. What's going on?"

"I just, uh...It's like, five years have passed, right? A-and I really thought that I was finally starting to get it right. Y'know? I was helping people, both as-as Spider-Man, and as Peter Parker. I was helping myself. I was starting to trust you, and trust that you weren't going to, you know, die, and my walls were starting to come down."

"Mine too, kid," Tony smiled assuringly. Peter seemed to only doubt this look, as if he didn't trust it to be genuine.

"But now...now, my walls are back up, because your walls are definitely back up. You have...you have a family now. A real one, of your own. You have an actual kid now. That spot that I had with you, it's gone. Or, not gone, but filled. And I just have to respect that. I understand. I just wanted to come here and tell you that it's okay. I'll be okay. And I'm sorry."

"Peter, dammit, stop," Tony insisted, grabbing the kid's arm before he could escape out of the window. Peter turned back to face him, shattering Tony's heart yet again as he acknowledged the tears brimming his eyes. He felt that he was going to start bawling, too. "What makes you think that I don't have any room for you?"

"Everything I worked toward with you five years ago isn't there anymore," Peter choked out, taking deep and composing breaths to attempt to steady himself. "It's still there in me, but you've...you've moved on, Tony. You've moved on. And I'm not upset at you about that at all. All I want is for you to be happy."

"Peter, just wait, please," Tony interrupted, taking Peter's head in his hands and firmly cupping the sides of it, brushing the pads of his thumbs under Peter's eyes and wiping his tears away. "There are no walls here, Pete. No boundaries, no protections, nada. That gap you're talking about, kid? We just lived it. It was five years worth of a gap and we crossed it. And now, there are no walls. There's nothing separating us anymore, and there never will be ever again."

Peter's bottom lip quivered, a heavy tear tracing down Tony's hand as the kid closed his eyes. Whether the action was out of relief or doubt, Tony wasn't sure. It didn't matter either way; he could go on forever.

"You are my kid. You were my kid before Morgan and now you're my kid with Morgan. But whatever walls you have up, you better tear them down, or else I will alright? Because I'm here. You're here. And I want in. As much as you'll have me, I want those five years. I'm open, and Pepper, May, Morgan...we all want you to stop drifting away from us, you hear me? No fifteen-year-old kid deserves to go through what you went through alone."

Peter sucked in a harsh breath until suddenly he was crying. Not just letting tears slip past his eyes, not just getting misty. His back was bouncing with sobs, and Tony was holding him tight, cradling the back of his head. Peter had his arms wrapped around him in an iron-grip.

"It's over?" Peter asked, and the question was so broad but to Tony, it was so specific. He looked up at the ceiling, thanking whatever god was listening and planting a firm kiss on Peter's head.

"Yeah, kiddo. It's over. The worst of it has passed. I promise."

And Tony sank to the ground, his heart both breaking and replenishing all in one swift stroke as Peter continued choking out broken sobs into Tony's jacket. 

_Rest. You are on top of the world._

**Author's Note:**

> "and it's not in the way that you said your goodbye,  
> not in the way that you laughed  
> and it's not in the way that you started to cry  
> when you heard that the worst part had passed  
> it's the way you keep lifting up  
> drifting away from me  
> i'm broken, i'm broken again  
> and it's harder to stand  
> when i'm holding out  
> i'm open, i'm hoping you can  
> when will you let me in?"


End file.
